Well, of course, it wouldn’t be long before ASPENX – the “premium” and “experiential” retail brand of Aspen Skiing Company – was “pleased to announce a new collaboration with luxury brand Prada to unveil a limited-edition collection of pieces made in the famous Prada Re-Nylon fabric.
And so on, with the scintillating adjectives and adverbs in such press releases, beautiful to chain them seemingly to every bare noun and verb:
“Representing a commitment to sustainable practices now and in the future, Prada Re-Nylon is a revolutionary evolution of the brand’s most recognizable signifier, nylon – an emblem of Prada’s distinct take on luxury. Re-Nylon is the next step in fabric technology and sustainable luxury, a textile that can be endlessly regenerated without loss of quality, a true cyclical luxury.
“Prada Re-Nylon is made entirely from a regenerated nylon created by recycling and purifying plastic collected from the world’s oceans, fishing nets, landfills and textile fiber waste. Through a process depolymerization, purification and then transformation into new polymers and then into threads, this material can be recovered and transformed into a new nylon fabric.
“Translating Re-Nylon into Prada ready-to-wear, the pieces fuse sportswear elements with silhouettes and approaches to luxury: designed by Prada, ASPENX women’s and men’s pieces include jackets, shirts and sweatshirts in a cobalt blue tone with black accents.The signature graphic – a visual of white and black slashes – is designed by Paula Crown for a contemporary and striking appearance.
“The limited edition ASPENX The Prada collection is exclusively available in the ASPENX store located at Aspen’s Gondola Plaza and now available for purchase on ASPENX.com.
Of course, it’s easy for news writers – with their fact-only scribbles, ma’am, verbs and nouns stripped of all adornment – to shine a light on the more luxurious artistry of marketers and, at truth be told, writers trying to capture the full flavor of all the arts in journals and such.
Yet some of Mark Twain’s advice holds true across generations: “When you catch an adjective, kill it. No, I don’t mean quite, but kill most of them – then the rest will be valuable. They weaken when they get closer. They give strength when they are away.
Of course, he wasn’t looking down the barrel of a 3,000th press release to pump out a fancy clothing line, accessories, fragrances, shoes, sunglasses, and the like.
This might have led the comedian to a few different adjectives, while no doubt appealing to a means buyer unfazed by such tongue-in-cheek observations of this particular art aimed, in this case, at helping save the world. Well, if you can afford it.